I can see!

What with the trip out to Bandon, I forgot to write about my Lasik surgery. In short, I am angry. Angry at myself for not doing this years ago. I have used every imaginable kind of vision correction device possible. Glasses, hard contacts, gas-permeable contacts, soft contacts, extended wear contacts, daily wear contacts, torics, disposables, and then back to glasses. This RULES.

Went to see Dr. Kawesch (check it out – he didn’t just do MY eyes, he did Jessica Simpson on some realoty show as well – so he is double-famous) for a consult, and was told I was a candidate. Came back the following Friday for the procedure. Got my eyes measured (with a computer – not like a measuring tape), and was then given 20mg of Valium to “keep me calm during surgery”. Yeah. OK. Knock my ass out is more like it. A few drops in the eyes to numb things, and then in we went.

Laid me down on a table and swung me under the laser. Immediately a clamp goes on my left eye to hold it open, then some suction cup over that. Then, using a different laser (it’s called Intralase – they used to cut the flap with a knife back in the stone age – but no more) they cut a flap in my cornea and peeled it back. The the lasering starts. They tell you to watch the red light straight ahead, and 30 seconds later, they are done. Add that you can smell something burning while they do it – but whatever. Same deal for the other eye, and they sit you up and walk you out to the waiting room. The entire process takes maybe 5 minutes.

Bill drove me home (who is getting famous with his Dick Fiction video), I ate, took a Vicodin, and went to sleep. Woke up 4 hours later, and could see clearly. It was amazing. Bought cool sunglasses, golfed for 3 days with clear vision, it’s the best.

Don’t be STUPID. Go get it done. $3 grand for clear vision.