Rats!

I’m a fairly manly guy.  I take care of the manly things around the house.  I open jars.  I replace lightbulbs.  I fix things.  I kill bugs.  If necessary, I could get a snake out of the house.  But I cannot STAND rats.  They are vermin in the truest sense of the word.  So when I realized we had at least one in the house, I was NOT happy.  Apparently, what he likes to do is hang out in the attic during the day, then at night crawl through a hole in the water heater closet and hang out on top of the warm water heater – and apprently poop constantly, judging from the amount in that closet.

So Pam called an exterminator to come out and handle things.  I met the guy at the house, and when i went to show him the closet in question, there was not one, but TWO rats in there.  This was a serious deal.  Multi-rats.  Kill them immediately, I said – and then went to work out.

I came hom expecting a bill for their services and a note saying “All rats eliminated – zero chance on any getting in ever again.  Have a nice day.”  Instead I saw nothing.  Pam then told me that they had not, in fact, killed the rats, but instead FED them.  They block off the hole into the water heater closet, and then put food in the attic for them.  This bothers me on a great many levels.  First of all, I’m not a big fan of training them that MY HOUSE is the RAT BUFFET.  Word gets around (not sure how exactly, but it does), and soon other rats will be showing up for the early bird special.  Second, they are now TRAPPED (like, well, you know) in MY HOUSE!  I’m sure there is an element of genius to this plan, but I’m not quite seeing it yet.

More as the story develops.